23

So far, so good.

This morning I woke-up EARLY because I had to be back in Boone around 9am.  I opened presents with my mom this morning, and my dad watched.  (pictures to come)

I was in class for the first time EVER IN MY LIFE on my Birthday :( ...but, my classmates surprised me with a cake and a group gift during our first class; and they sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Spanish.

Then, during lunch, the program director brought in another cake for me.  The Chinese students who are here studying how to teach English eat lunch with us, so they sang to me in English and participated in the festivities.

I am on sugar overload.  I have had WAY too much cake!

My afternoon teacher (whose birthday was actually on Saturday) asked if I had any plans for the evening.  I told him I would be reading and writing for his class and that it was my first time ever to be in class on my birthday.  He said I could leave class if I wanted to since it was my birthday.  I told him I really did want to leave class, but I knew I should stay because his class is too hard. ...I think he and I have come to have a good relationship and understanding of one another :)

I have also received many phone calls, text messages, and facebook messages that have all made me feel so special and remembered.

I am THANKFUL for such a special birthday!

Last Day to be 22

Today is my last day to be 22 EVER (and it is my dad's 58th birthday!). 

Birthdays are a big deal to me.  I don't really know why; maybe because my parents always made me feel celebrated on my birthday when I was younger???.... who knows?  For some reason they are a big deal and I always like to do something "special", celebrate in some way, and make the day count.

This year I have been dreading my birthday.  I think because it is the first "day of significance" (all of the big holidays are in the winter) I have had since I've been pregnant. AND I can remember exactly what I was doing last year on my birthday and I of course did not think I'd be where I am now this year.  AND I just didn't feel like organizing anything or celebrating because I don't really "hang out" with friends like I use to.  AND I think I associate 22 with some of the best times in my life during my first five months in Mexico, but I'm afraid that with 23 (and on) I won't ever get to go back to that kind of happy again.  

I have had several moments of tears over the last week and this weekend with the anticipation of my birthday being a really unspecial and dreaded day for the first time ever.   So, although this has been a particuarly hard weekend for me emotionally, God has so graciously reminded me of the many blessings and gifts I have had for this birthday... 

-I have parents that still try really hard to make my day special even though I'm not little any more
-I have had presents from my parents waiting and wrapped and sitting on the table since Saturday (and my birthday is Monday)
-My dad went out and bought me a present even though he has a "gimp" leg (aka: hip replacement)
-My mom and I got to do our traditional (5ish years in the running) manicure and pedicure afternoon together
-Leah, Melanie, and Caroline organized and took me out to dinner at Mela's Indian Restaurant, to listen to some music at "Shin-dig on the Green", to dessert at the Chocolate Lounge, and brought me gifts.  The even came and picked me up at my house!
-My dad made really good homemade lemonade just for me (which is the only thing I seem to regularly crave)
-My mom, after seeing me cry on Saturday morning and without knowing the above mentioned ladies were taking me out, tried calling several of my long-time friends to try and put something together for me without me knowing it
-Lots of people give me hugs at church and tell me I look great (whether they are telling the truth or not...I could care less :))
-I daily feel BG move, which is a miracle, gift, and blessing in and of itself (thank you, for that reminder, Lorraine Griffith)

So, here is to being reminded of the MANY MANY MANY undeserved gifts that I was given during 22, and despite the many unexpected changes, to be reminded that God is good and kind to us.  May 23 be a year of true thanksgiving.

Appalachian State Summer Institute

I am in Boone for my second round of "Summer Institute".  It's three weeks long, and I take 2 graduate courses.  We (the other students and myself) live in dorms, we only speak in Spanish the whole three weeks and we eat all of our meals together.

In the mornings from 9:40-12:40 I have Hispanic Short Fiction with Dr. Maria Patracia Napiorski from Columbia (South America).  She is great!  I had her last year as well.  For her class we read a lot of short stories, do some research, have one presentation, and a final paper.  She incorporates lots of videos with interviews from authors and class small group discussion in her class.

In the afternoons from 1:40-4:40 I have Masterpieces of Hispanic Art and Literature with Dr. Benito del Piego from Spain.  He is brilliant and knows his stuff, but started off the first class with "This is going to be brutal"....and he was not kidding.  We have interpretive essays due almost every day, crital essay/research to read each night, a final exam, a final paper, and three novels to read in three weeks.  And, might I add, these are not "Harry Potter" novels....these are novels written in Spanish from the 1800's...not exactly an easy read.

I pretty much spend my evenings, from 5pm- 12am/1am doing work, sleep 7 hours, and then do it all over again.  

Boone is hot...well I don't have AC in the dorm where I spend my evenings working.  I have gone for two runs (43 minutes on Monday morning and 54 minutes today).  It is sooo hot running here in the mornings, but I have to stay in good enough shape to run the Bele Chere 5K on July 30th.

Here's to these three weeks passing REALLY, REALLY quickly!

I Want

1. I want to have the freedom to live abroad, travel, and do whatever without feeling stuck and having to "settle down" already at age 22
2. I want to be able to go out with ANY of my friends, not just the ones who know about BG
3. I want to go to church and not feel ashamed or embarrassed
4. I want to apply for a job for the fall and not have to tell the employer that I will be having a baby just a few weeks after I start work
5. I want to feel like there is actually someone out there who would want to marry me
6. I want to have fun and be happy without feeling guilty
7. I want to feel confident about myself again
8. I want to be able to sleep through the night without having to go to the bathroom
9. I want to not spend so many nights crying

I OFTEN get caught up in the "I want's".  Some of them are superficial and some of them are slightly healthier desires.  My situation is a result of my sin, but regardless of how I got where I am today, truth is that because of God's love for me my "wants" are how I often feel but not really my reality.

Reality....
1. Following Jesus is an adventure and my exciting life is far from over.  I just need to be willing for Him to use me here or there.  There are 'good works' waiting for me!  "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."   Ephesians 2:10

2. What a testimony I have to share about God's love and forgiveness.  "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."  2 Corinthians 12:9 

3. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

4. Do I not believe that God cares about my job situation and that He will provide for me?  "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26 

5. BG is not a surprise to God, so whether I get married or not, God had my future already planned out.  BG was not a deciding factor for Him.  Also, I know I come with a lot of "baggage" now that will make a relationship more difficult than other types of "baggage", but I really would want to marry someone anyway who was full of grace and mercy and daily lived out the Gospel.  Isn't God the ultimate Bridegroom, too?  "As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Isaiah 62:5 
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

6.  "For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse, as it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law.' Clearly no one who relies on the law is justified before God, because “the righteous will live by faith.” Galatians 3:10,11 (and the rest of Galatians, for that matter)
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

7. God delights in me and He made me just the way I am for specific purposes.  "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

8. That's life.  Suck it up.

9. I have sooooo  much to be thankful for I don't know why I ever cry.  I have loving and support family, friends, and church body.  People have gone out of their way on numerous occasions to show love and encouragement to me.  I am truly, truly undeserving and have WAY to much to be thankful for.  
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

4th of July Festivities

For the 4th of July we went to the Tourist Game, with Trinity folks, and then watched the firework display from the field afterwards.

 Michelle Kinnear, Me, Joe and Brenda Mullen, Susan Carlson, and Ashley Berger

 Michelle, Mom, and Me

Sweet Encouragement

A friend of my mom's (who I probably have not seen in 3 or 4 years) brought by a sweet care package to "pamper" just me.  What an encouraging way to make me feel special and loved!

Thank you, Diana Brinkley!

OBGYN - 2nd official appointment

I had my second appointment at Grace OBGYN today.

-I weigh 2 lbs more than I did at my last appointment, just two weeks ago (whoops!)
-BG is no longer breech. Yay!!!!!
-I am allowed to keep running even though my heartrate goes above 140 (I was told 140 was an "archaic" number with no "real" evidence supporting it other than it's age)
-I have a urinary tract infection (but, I'm asymptomatic, meaning I had none of the "bothersome" symptoms, so I didn't know I had it and I will be cured with some antibiotics)
-I am 30 weeks and 1 day (but I already knew that :))